Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
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