I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
