we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
