so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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