Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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