Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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