HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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