i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
