the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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