she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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