Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
