We're facebook friends in real life
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
