I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
