I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
