In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
