laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
