I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
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