Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My ATM looks so different sober.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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