Pappa wants mamma naked
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Randomize
