So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
accomplished twins. life is a go
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Randomize
