no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
