oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
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