Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
