Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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