Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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