college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
