just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
