You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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