Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
