So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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