She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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