Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
