Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
