Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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