Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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