I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
