sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
