omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
