my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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