The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
