according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
