I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
