He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
