Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Randomize
