And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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