Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
