i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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