True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
