You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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