I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
When are your genitals available?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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