How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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